SM #1: Here I am, back again (written on: 21.01.2021)
Hello again and welcome back to Shezzy Tells, Version ??? (real talk, I think it's like the 15th one). It has been about one year since I last came on here and checked the vibes. As usual I just couldn't find the time or energy anymore to work on this website even if is has been my pride and joy for so long. But here I am again with more motivation than usual so let's catch up.
In the past year, somehow nothing and everything happened at the same time. I started the year off with strong depression symptoms and a newfound hatred for my job and life in general. After that I suddenly decided to get my driver's license which was an experience in itself but ended up being one of the more boring parts of that year. During that time, the pandemic had its first outbreak but I was feeling hopeful in the beginning and pretty lucky that I was allowed to sit at home for months.
I spent the following months learning how to drive, longboarding with my bestfriend, and seriouly questioning my sanity. When summer came around, I wasn't able to finally visit America like I planned to (because of Miss Rona) so instead I eventually decided to get professional help for my mental issues. A few equally depressing months later I had some antidepressants ready and also an appointment with a therapist and everything seemed to be okay again.
Other honorable mentions from that year: I went to the greatest concert ever in Feburary and basically found my soulmate there. I tried out fake nails and absolutely loved them. I visited Hamburg for a week (my first vacation alone) and it was heaven on earth. Also Bad Homburg is very beautiful. This one girl from my school is actually interesting. I got a christmas bonus at the end of the year and felt like an absolute boss.
And somehow, with all the sad stuff and drama inbetween, that I didn't even mention here, I actually had a great time. Like now, thinking about it three weeks later, the bad parts don't feel real anymore or I simply forgot about them and that is quite a good feeling.
For this month, I barely have anything to share. Looking at it now, I don't remember anything except my mental state getting worse again, but I'm on it. Yesterday was my 20th birthday and although I did almost nothing (except work, play GTA Online, eat waffles and call my friends) it was somehow one of the best birthdays ever. While this all may sound pretty hopeful I actually am quite pessimistic about this year and everything after that but I'm trying to distract myself or find myself again by diving into my blog here again.
So I think that is all you need to know. I'll update you in one month.
Love you know and always, Shez
